“A good apology builds bridges. It heals wounds,” he says. Marjorie hereAssociate Editor New book Sorry, sorry, sorry: The case for good forgiveness) “It’s also very difficult. Apologizing is a brave thing to doBecause when we do that we bypass all our animal instincts and our self-preservation”, he adds.
Looking for excuses and reminiscing about past conflicts are usually counter to good intentions. But sincere apologies bring many benefits to both the one who asks them and the one who receives them.
Angela Haupt sums it up in her article Valuable Time 8 Keys to Apologizing Correctly:
“What we’ve found is that there can be a temptation to apologize sooner,” he says. Cindy Frantz is a social psychologist at Oberlin College. “This is an attempt to get over the whole incident and move on. It benefits the aggressor but does not meet the needs of the victim.” “Better to apologize late than early”
If you decide to apologize, you need to take responsibility and not try to share. Avoid the “I’m sorry I did this, but you did it too.” Usually, this type of expression tries to show that the person apologizing is also hurt, but it’s better to leave that part of the conversation for later.
If it’s a relatively minor offense, apologize by text or in person, here suggests. Emails usually work well for more serious situations. “And If you’re really screwed, a stamp, a good piece of stationery, and a pen have something very powerful”, Time Reviews.
Ingall also warns: “Don’t apologize via social media, it’s embarrassing for everyone involved.”
Also, the teacher Sorry, sorry, sorry: The case for good forgiveness He offers his golden rule: “When you apologize to someone, you have to give them a way out. You don’t want someone stuck with you: they need an escape route. For example, don’t block someone from leaving their office or lean on their car window so they can Can’t get out.”
When apologizing, always choose your words carefully, advises Lisa Leopold, Associate Professor of English Linguistics at the Middlebury Institute of International Studies in Monterey, Analyzed the language of public apologies. Avoid conditional phrases like “I’m sorry if I offended anyone.”
in detail TimeIt is essential to use “I” or “my” when apologizing You should always use the active voice.
Use the words “I’m sorry” or “I apologize.” Ingall says choosing phrases like “I’m sorry” or “I feel bad about what happened” can be too vague.
And, she adds, saying you’re sorry puts the focus on you and your emotions when it should be on the hurt person’s feelings.
One of the key elements of forgiveness is restitution. Broke your favorite wine glass? Buy her another one. Stained her dress with coffee? Pay for dry cleaning. If it is not possible, there is always a description, an index of the repair. For example, Haupt points out in her column, if you hurt someone’s feelings with a critical comment, make it clear that you’ve misrepresented yourself.
Pardon must be commensurate with the seriousness of the offence. She says that if you apologize for cheating and say, “I’m sorry, honey,” you’re not being very sincere. Karina Shuman, professor of psychology at the University of Pittsburgh; However, those words are relevant if you are 10 minutes late for dinner.
You have to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and understand that what you did hurt them and the consequences. Schumann advises that it helps to listen first and ask questions about their perspective. “It will allow you to understand what they’re going through and therefore be able to offer a more genuine, victim-centred apology.”
The Time passage emphasizes that an apology is a starting point. Especially when it comes to serious crimes, the offender needs time and space to heal, and it’s important not to push them away. A good way to proceed is to communicate that you will wait patiently for his forgiveness. “I understand that it’s not going to fix everything, and I want to do everything I can to make you feel better,” suggests Schumann.
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